Let's talk about Sleep

Sleep. It’s one of the biggest topics of conversation when it comes to new and expecting parents. Usually, you’ll hear all about how little sleep you will get, how hard it is waking up every few hours (or even every hour). It’s horror story after horror story with the “enjoy your sleep now” tagged onto the end. And look, I have no doubt that there are babies out there that genuinely struggle with sleep for whatever reason it may be, so I can only speak from my experience with my child. But I wanted to speak about bed-sharing. Because, I’ll be honest, it was never really spoken about in any of my appointments or amongst many of my friends who already had children. I mean, you’d hear of parents rolling on babies in the bed, or of blankets suffocating them while they sleep but you never heard of safe, successful bed-sharing. Which, to me, is INSANE.

I have, and still do, bed-share with my son since birth. For me, it has been the most natural way to sleep, with my child as close as possible to me. And when you look at other countries, particularly Eastern or Third World, this is common practice. Even when you look at nature, Mother and young are together, all the time until the young is old enough to go out on its own. So why, do we as humans, think that babies should be able to ‘self-settle’? Why is it completely normal for grown adults to use sleep aids such as melatonin, CBD, relaxation apps, medication or even TV to fall sleep and yet we expect babies to go to and stay asleep by themselves?

It has never felt right to me, and even after my son was born I felt like I ‘should’ have him in his own crib. As the months have gone on though, I have realised that that way of life would not work for us. I love that he can feed as he feels, usually without even waking me. I love the small hand that reaches out to me in the darkness to make sure he’s not alone. I love his little body, tucked perfectly into mine as we sleep. And I think, knowing that this won’t last forever, makes it even more special. I know that before long, he’ll be in his own bed, wanting less and less from me as he grows.

BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND? Yes, you may be thinking what about my husband and let me tell you this, he hasn’t been happier than he is now with his own bed. And sure, there’s nights I miss his cuddles but this season is fleeting. Before long, I’ll be back in our bed and it’ll be just us again.

And the sleep? Well I can comfortably say I have never had the sleep deprivation that most parents speak off. Sure, there are nights that Stone is up and about and I have to settle him or let him climb all over me until he gets tired again but generally, we both get a fairly decent amount of sleep.

So, if you are out there fearful of how you’ll handle the lack of sleep just know there are other ways to go. You don’t have to do the crib, you can safely sleep with your baby.